Priorities

Ever hear that old saying: "Be careful what you ask for"? Well I think there is a lot of wisdom to it. Lately I've felt like I'm drowning at work (same old story: too much to do, too little time). Yesterday was sort of the culmination of everything that was bugging me and by the time I left work I just felt like I needed a good three hour cry.

I spent the day doing everything except what I felt needed to get done. I had gone in with good intentions and knew what "MY" priorities were. Here is the funny thing about being in full-time ministry. You have to be able to let go of your priorities, almost always. God's priorities come first. I know this but just this once I wanted God to give me a break. He didn't and so the day was spent doing things important to Him. I don't regret that but it doesn't changed how overwhelmed I feel. I went home from work and had a long talk with God. I just prayed and asked Him to "please, please" let me get at "my things".

On the way to work today I prayed that same prayer over and over again. I walked in with a plan, determined to put my head down and tackle the long list of things that remain undone on my desk. I even came in an hour early to ensure I'd have "uninterrupted" time. Well, God had a different plan. I walked in, went straight to my office, and started digging my way through the papers. I was 20 minutes into it, feeling pretty good that my plan was working and my priorities might be addressed. I went into the front office to make a copy of something. I turned on the lights and immediately knew that things were going to change.

Something dramatic happened between the time we closed yesterday and coming in today. I had no idea what the "something" was but the result of it was obvious. The ceiling in the middle of room had dropped about 2 feet and was sagging from one wall to the other wall. I looked up and said "Okay God, I give up. This is Your day, I give it to You. Let Your priorities be my priorities and let me at peace with it."

I went back to my office and proceeded to make calls to the landlord to see if I needed to close for the day (structural problem?). We didn't, the day went on, a little crazier than the normal craziness but no one died. The ceiling got fixed and I went on to the next priority that presented itself.

With the day at an end I reflect back on the previous one and my prayer. I remember saying something like, "Dear God, it feels like things are caving in on me and I don't understand why I can't just do the work on my desk. I understand the importance of counseling with a mom frightened because her immature 17 year old is pregnant, I understand the need to pray with a volunteer in great emotional pain, I understand the need to support staff because they had a difficult client. I get it, BUT my job still needs to get done." I really remember using the words "caving in". Coming in this morning to a ceiling that was literally caving in reminded me that things could be worse. But some things just aren't as important as loving someone who doesn't think they are lovable, or crying with someone who doesn't have anyone to share their grief with, or praying with someone who hasn't prayed in a very long time. No things, are just things. Here today, gone tomorrow. But people, they are precious, unique, and eternal. God's priorities always deal with the eternal and I think He was just making sure I remembered that.