Sentimental

Many years ago when Kelly still lived in Kansas and we had a house, we decided to update the "look" of our home. Kelly was in charge and did an incredible job. It turned out beautiful. Specifically I remember our half bath and how she took it from a cow motive to a modern sleek look. She put up a glass shelf with these glass vases with beads in them and one long flower type thing. It was great and worked perfect for that room.

Then we moved. We now live in an apartment and there really wasn't a place for these five vases. We tried some different spots and in one attempt to move them one fell and broke. So now there are four vases.

For a long time they were on the fireplace mantel and even though they don't exactly match the decor we kept them there. Well, until one day when we redid the things on the mantel because of a new gift we received from the kids. There was no denying that the vases just didn't work there anymore.

Gary moved them to three different places and I tried to let them be but it just wasn't working for me. This past week we had our son and his friend here for one night and when I was getting things ready I decided to move the vases into storage.

Friday night Gary and I sat watching TV and during a commercial break he asked about the vases. I could tell by his quiet tone that he was very sad. He said something like "they remind of Kel-Kel". So I told him where to find them and he combined the four flowers to one vase and it now sits on our dresser in the bedroom. I watch each night as Gary gets ready for bed and see him pause and look at the vase. Knowing he is reminded of his daughter who lives far away but is always close to his hear, I pray he will sleep well.

Ode to September

quiet
cool nights
beauty in motion
month sister was born
days get shorter
almost over
gone

I remember September and love her cool nights.
It is over too soon and I'll miss the daylight.
As winter gets closer and warmth goes to sleep,
We'll be buried in snow that can get quite deep.

The sky is so blue during September's days.
Tree leaves begin turning and there's a light morning haze.
The dog days of summer are gone for a year.
And store's turn attention to Christmas that's near.

If spring is my favorite then September is second.
A walk in the park can feel close to heaven.
She comes in quick and is gone too soon.
September's beauty is seen in the sweet harvest moon.

Boldly

As I walked and talked with the Lord I wondered about God and how unworthy I am to request to be in His presence. Yet, my heart is troubled and in need of wisdom so I walk and wait on the Lord.

It is a nice day for a walk. The weather is perfect. Some leaves have just begun to change yet there are leaves that have already fallen to the ground. Still, plenty of green and an abundance of flowers line the path as I walk. The sky is a beautiful blue and the big puffy white clouds look like floating mountains.

I ponder about the thing that weighs so heavy on my heart. How can it consume me while I'm surrounded by such beauty? I bring it to the Lord and ask for what I want. I end my prayer with "if it be Your will, Father; if it be Your will".

I walk some more and wonder if I believe that. I say it because I know He is God and I am not yet I also know His word instructs me to come boldly before His thorn. So I sit on a picnic table and bow my head. BOLDLY, BOLDLY, I make my request to the Lord. As I do a peace comes over me that I did not have at the end of my last prayer.

I cry. When the tears stop I know that His will, will be done. He knows the desires of my heart and no matter the outcome of my prayer, I will delight in Lord always.

Blue Sky

The sky is very blue today. It is 70 degrees and just looks wonderful out there. I wonder if it is a good idea to have window in my office on days like this.

I see my car parked right outside my window and know that in the trunk are my golf clubs that do not have any 2008 grass stains on them yet. I think about my 4:30-5:30 meeting and then my 6PM to 8PM meeting and start feeling like I did back in high school when I'd just escape and go to the park.

Part of me wants to just get up, leave, and go outside to play. Yet, responsibilites cry out to me and so instead I take a break from work and decide to post on my blog. Today I met with a woman who could only verbalize that is was time to "take care of herself." She could not think about the fact that her teenage daughter was pregnant and maybe needed her. No, she could only think about doing what was best for herself. She felt she deserved that. We talked about God and she stated that she decided a long time ago that God did not care about her. If He did then her life would have been much easier, she reasoned.

Really? Is that what God's purpose is for our lives...to make them easier? If it is then I'm doing life all wrong. Easy is not a word I'd use to describe a day in the life of me. In fact, if I were honest I'd say most days were hard and filled with challenges. Could I choose to walk away from those things? Yes. Will I? No.

I'm reminded of a sermon I heard decades ago about the ant that never stops planning for the winter, working hard all summer. If you read the Bible passage too quickly you may miss the fact that winter does not mean time off, it includes the gathering of the harvest that the ant worked so hard at storing. No, I don't think God wants to make our lives easy. A great example of why can been seen now in our culture. The easier life gets the lazier we get. Physically and intellectually. So many people I meet seem to have just stopped using critical thinking. So much information is fed to them through television and other media that they just accept what they hear as fact instead of doing the hard work of researching a subject for themselves.

I see this with how people, like the woman I met today, approach "knowing" anything about God. Rarely will they read the Bible for themselves and rarer still will they investigate what they learn if they do read the Bible. No, it is easier to build Biblical knowledge off bumper stickers, the nightly news, and popular sitcoms. It makes me sad.

When was the last time you read a good Book? Have you spent even 20 minutes in the Bible lately? I must confess that the internet has helped to make me lazy in my Bible reading. I can go to a website and just search on a word or a passage and let the computer bring it up for me. I don't have to even open the paper pages of a book anymore. But what have I lost?

The search for a particular passage by turning to Ephesians or the Psalms always led me to other treasures that I wasn't looking for. Hmmmm...suddenly the old saying "physician heal thyself" comes to mind. I guess before I point the finger of laziness at others, or our culture, I must first look at myself. I think I'll stop posting now. I suddenly have the urge to read my Bible for the remainder of this short break from work.

A Lesson from the Ants
Proverbs 6:6-8
"Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter."