Live or die. Listen or talk.

I sat in the room with a beautiful woman in her late twenties and listened as she shared how much she no longer wanted to live. How she dreams about dieing and that if it weren't for her little boy she would already have followed through on that dream. She can't get through today and the idea of planning for tomorrow was, well...just incomprehensible for her.

And I completely understood where she was coming from been having felt that way myself many years ago.

I am far from that place now and by the grace of God a different person. Yet it amazed me how vivid those memories could still be. 2010 has had a lot of death in it for me and those I love. My husband's beloved father, a cousin, parents of close friends, friends who lost their little boy, and more. Even as I type this post I am preparing to attend yet another funeral in about an hour from now.

So perhaps that is why I have been so deeply contemplating eternity. In light of eternity these few years on this planet are put a flash if light that you barely even see. Yet, God thinks they have some value or importance.

How much of my time do I invest in things that have eternal value and how much is just things that mean something for today? How much of my energy is given to others and how much is wasted on things that just don't matter?

I recently purchased an android phone and believe it to have been a wise purchase. Wise for temporal reasons anyways. Yet, this phone with all its bells and whistles has in a strange way simplified my life. So for that, I am grateful.

Not sure why I bothered with that last comment but I will leave it and hope it will have value for someone else that might actually read this post.

So back to the reason I felt compelled to do this entry. Death. How near or far is it? If I live through today will I have done anything with these minutes or hours that in eternity will matter? If I live 50 more years, what then? I believe the answer is not as difficult as I would think. I believe it is about love.

Not the love this world has to offer with empty promises and things we buy. No, that love is fleeting. The love that you feel when you look in a stranger's eye and ask "how are you  today" and then stick around to hear the answer. The love you see when strangers rush in to help others in crisis. The love you see when someone has just lost their spouse of 60 years still finds a way to thank you for visiting and asks how you are doing. Not because it is the polite thing to do but because they really want to know.

I started with this young woman who just wanted to die. Let me close with her. We talked a long time and while I felt I wasn't getting through I later found out that she did hear what I and another person had to say to her. At one point in our conversation she shared a dark secret that she had held for many years. Something in that release connected with her soul and while she still has much to deal with she no longer feels like death is the only way out.

Spend this day seeking out what you could do that would count for eternity. Don't wait for it to just fall in your lap. SEEK it out. Look for opportunities to invest in another person. And try to listen more than talk today. It is amazing what you will hear.

After all while the old saying goes "this is the first day of the rest of your life" but the opposite could be true too. If this was the last day of your life how would you spend it? On eternal matters or matters that only count for this day?