This may shock many who are close to me, but up until 11/5/2012 (the day before the election), I had decided that this would be the first presidential election since 1976 (the first one I voted in) that I would NOT vote in.
I felt it was my right NOT to vote, as much as it was my duty TO vote. If I am free TO vote, I must also be free to NOT vote. Otherwise, that freedom is meaningless. For months prior to the election I listened to many arguments on why every American citizen needs to vote. I heard from both sides (republican and democrat) and still walked away unmotivated to go to the polls. I have voted in 9 presidential elections. I wanted to, just once, be able to vote for a candidate I truly believed in. This year, the choices were even less appealing to me than ever. And voting for the "lesser of two evils", as many friends put it, did not motivate me in the least.
I'm busy, I'm tired, and I'm disillusioned with the entire political landscape (except for a few local politicians I have personally known over the years, who quite frankly are my heroes). I have been disappointed with presidents I voted for and presidents I did not vote for. One year, I even foolishly fell for voting for a candidate who was not from either major political party. I walked away from that election mad at how I was fooled into throwing my vote away.
So, that is where I was when I woke up on Monday, November 5th, 2012. During that time I sought wisdom from God's word. A place of strength and guidance. Yet, I saw nothing in there that convinced me God gave instructions to me, to vote in a presidential election, in the USA, in 2012. Nope, nothing. There were good things about duty, honor and respect. There were some verses, that if I took them out of the context of the entire Bible, I could possibly twist to MAYBE mean something they didn't. But that is not how I've been taught to understand what I read. When I read God's word, it is to gain wisdom for how to live this life and prepare for the life to come. Eternal matters.
I remember thinking, how when it is all said and done, my ONE vote really is not going to be that swing vote that changed the election results. Comparing that to the other priorities in my life, going to vote landed at the bottom of the list of things I needed to invest my time in. After all, what is one vote in the grand scheme of things.
And then it happened. I found what I was looking for. AND I found it in the most unexpected place. My motivation to vote came from a simple post on my facebook newsfeed. It was from one of the group pages I follow, I don't even remember which one. It had a picture with the number 53,000,000 on it. The caption said something like, "53 million American citizens were never given the opportunity to be born and therefore have never experienced the freedom to vote. Make your vote count for them." It hit me, our freedom to chose abortion and end a life, takes away the rights and freedoms of the person who dies during the abortion procedure.
I was immediately reminded of a public speaking opportunity I had been given a number of years ago, to share about the pregnancy center I worked at. I had shown a picture that depicted how many Americans have died in all the wars we've fought since we became a country. Then I compared it to the millions of American babies that have died since 1973. At the time of this speech, the combined total of US war casualties was about 1.3 million compared to about 42 million lives lost to abortion. That number also doesn't include the number of abortions in states that do NO recording of abortion, one of which is the state of California. Also, many abortions are done medically and not surgically. The abortion number that is tracked is ONLY for surgical abortions. So how many millions of Americans died to abortion? No one really knows. I looked out at my audience and I saw eyes glazed over as the numbers I was sharing was almost incomprehensible. I knew that look meant that I was losing them. So I said something like, "I know these numbers are so large that they almost become meaningless. So let me make it more personal. Of the 42 million lives lost, there is one that I will never forget. That is the one I lost when I believed that abortion was the answer to my unplanned pregnancy." When the speech was over I talked with many in the audience. Few could remember the numbers I shared in the beginning. But ALL of them remembered the ONE. Which brings me back to my ONE vote.
I knew in that moment, when that memory flooded my mind, that I would indeed be voting in this year's presidential election. Not because I strongly supported one of the candidates. Not because I vehemently disagree with one of the candidates. No, none of that mattered when I went in to cast my vote. The only thing in my mind and in my heart, was that I owed it to the child I lost to abortion to vote, because that child never had the opportunity to be born in this great country, or to grow up and one day vote. No one forced me to abort, I chose it of my own free will. However, the moment the procedure was over I knew I had made the wrong choice. I knew I had lost something special. Regrets and shame followed me for many years after that. I believed the lies that abortion was okay. I was wrong. I felt betrayed by the medical community and by my country. Yet, God rescued me from that place and put me in a better place where I can help other women whose lives were turned upside down by abortion.
When I cast my vote this year, I cast a vote for life. I knew that one of the candidates, strongly stood for protecting abortion rights and even expanding them. I determined in my heart, that it was important that I vote. Not because I believed it would make a difference in the outcome, but because I knew it was what I had to do. I love this country and I desire to see it be a country where ALL its citizens are safe. Regardless where they live, inside or outside the womb.
Interestingly; I've compared the history of abortion in our country to the history of abortion in Russia. We are about 20 years behind them and sadly following in their deadly pattern. In America, 1 in 3 women will have an abortion by the time they reach 45. 50% of those women will have additional abortions. In Russia, 9 in 10 women have abortions. Not AN abortion; no, they have multiple abortions. Abortions are paid for by their government. Access to abortion is not only easy, it is free AND encouraged above parenting. I've looked into the eyes of women who have had multiple abortions. The deep empty sadness that is there takes my breath away.
So, when I stood with my ballot in front of me; I cast my vote not FOR a man, but FOR a memory. The memory of the child I lost, the child who would never get to vote in this country. That gave me the reason I needed to get up early, stand in line and vote in the presidential election of 2012. That gave me a reason to make voting a higher priority than the other things that demand my attention. For me, the choice was clear. If a man can not get this issue right, protecting our most vulnerable citizens, I do not trust that man can or will get much else right. Perhaps I'm jaded because I've seen how abortion destroys lives. Perhaps I'm too close to it because I lived it. Some might call me "close minded" or a "one issue voter". That's okay. It doesn't bother me. Mostly because it is true.
So the election is over. Some may think that my one vote didn't make any difference in the final result. And it didn't. The race wasn't that close. Some may think I woke up Wednesday morning after the election depressed because of the results. But today, I smile. I remember those few minutes as I looked at the ballot and cast my vote. I cried a single tear for the child I lost decades ago. It is not one vote in a sea of millions, not to me. It is the ONLY vote, in millions of votes, that had meaning at all. It was personal.
The election result for me is simply a reflection on the state of the American culture. Had a presidential candidate said he planned to discontinue all professional sports because of the state of our economy (or something like that), I know without any doubt that the American public would have revolted and he would have lost the election - by a landslide! The candidate who won this year's election, has publicly stated his intent to support (and perhaps expand) abortion rights. Result? Well, the American public elected him to another term. That tells me a lot about the state of our culture in America and the priorities we place on the issues.
I'm in a minority. I'm good with that. I can stand before my God and know I voted for the things that I know He values. If I am to vote, I will vote my conscious. I will not vote for the lesser of two evils, I will vote for the things I value most.
I am glad I experienced this "should I vote or not" crisis. Today, I am still 5 feet - 7 inches tall. But, in my minds eye, I am a little taller than I was a week ago. Thank you for taking the time to read this post and God bless America!
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