From princess, to evil, to princess again

Imagine a beautiful princess from a fairy tale waking up after a perfect night's sleep. Her skin is clear and her makeup already applied, not too much or she wouldn't look natural enough. For her beauty is outside for all to see, and inside for all to know. Her bed is what every one wishes they had; soft and luxurious. For some reason she sleeps outside and all of nature rejoices that she is awake! Little blue birds sing to her as playful butterflies dance around the bed and land softly on her arms.

Yes, this is exactly how I felt when I woke up this morning. To my surprise I had slept seven hours straight. A rare event in my life. I just laid in bed marveling at how great it felt to get that much sleep, and surprised at how it made me feel like a fairy tale princess.

But that was hours ago. A lot of life has happened between then and now. My heart aches for a young lady I met with today at the crisis pregnancy center where I serve. I've been doing this for many years and have met with a lot of women. Each one impacts me to some degree or another but few invade my heart the way this one did.

She told me how the abortion she had over a decade ago meant nothing to her. Her face told me a different story. The tears she could not keep back revealed her heart where her words couldn't. Unable to speak at times she would say, "I prefer not to talk about it". So, out of respect, I honored her request and we began to talk about this pregnancy. Her plan is to abort. She has been with the same man all this time but doesn't see a future with him. The utter defeat in her face caused me to ask "are you safe with him?" She assured me she was and said, "I prefer not to talk about it". So, the pattern for this meeting began.

As I sat with her, the faces of the many women I've seen over the years flashed through my mind. Their stories all different but the lines on their faces, the tears down their cheeks and the shame in their eyes revealed they all had one thing in common: they regret their abortions. They are tormented by the nightmares some endure. They try to drown their memories in booze or drugs. They hate what they did. They hate who they became.

But this women was different. WHY? What caused me to feel such deep sorrow for her? We talked a while more. Well, I talked, she just hung her head, wiped her tears, and repeated "I prefer not to talk about that". After the ultrasound she learned that she did indeed have a healthy pregnancy and her baby was visible on the screen. Still in the first trimester but far enough along to see and hear the heartbeat.

"So what will you do now?", I asked. "Have an abortion", she replied. Eye contact was not made. I waited as she cried. When asked if she has sought God and prayed to Him for answers she said, "no, why would you talk to God when you are planning to do something evil."

I was able to learn that she is miserable in her life and her relationship. She sees no future for herself or her children. She has no hope. She shared with me that she doesn't deserve to be happy. EVER! What is one more abortion? Nothing I said brought her any comfort.

She looked so weak. I assured her that God loves her but she could not comprehend that statement. She knows Him. But she is convinced that, because of her choices, God is done with her. There were no words I could share that would change her perspective.

I have looked hopelessness in the face before but this time it looked right back at me. "There but for the Grace of God go I" is all I could think. I hated seeing her walk out the door. I worry not for the baby in her womb, but for her. Is she do hopeless that she would consider ending her own life? I fear that is a real possibility. She never hinted or said anything to that effect but...

I tried everything I knew to do, everything I've been trained to do, I prayed harder than I normally pray. Nothing seemed to make a difference. Before she left I asked permission to give her hug. She melted into my arms and cried. How long has it been since someone offered her a hug? A hug with no strings attached, with no demands. How long? I looked her in the eyes and said, "No matter what you decide to do, you are welcome back here. We love you. Not what you do or don't do. We love YOU!"

And she is gone. As the door closed behind her, my heart began to ache and my eyes swelled with tears. Immediately I remembered the princess who woke up this morning.

Women deserve better than abortion. Abortion has not done ANYTHING to better the lives of women. This is not open for debate with me. It is fact.

Women raising children alone is higher than it has ever been. Teen pregnancies are down. REALLY? Are they down? They typically measure this by the number of teens having babies. How many took the morning after pill or had an abortion to hide their pregnancy. Is abuse against women down? NO! Do women still die from abortions? YES! Prior to abortion being legal were their 1.2 million illegal abortions happening a year? NO! Is the suicide rate among women higher now than before legalized abortion? The last study I saw says yes it is.

Okay, I'll stop. I have more, but I'll stop.

Women deserve to be cherished and nurtured and protected. Women deserve to birth the children they carry in their womb. Of the evils in the world, in my opinion, abortion is the most evil. Why? Because it is packaged so nice and neat with a BIG bow on it that says, "this is your right, it is your body, no one should interfere with your fertility." TRUTH ALERT: Abortion interferes with fertility, with babies being born, with relationships, with self-respect, etc.

There is young woman who boldly and proudly put a video of herself having an abortion out on the internet. This saddens my heart more than words can express. Nothing is private any more. Nothing is sacred. These are the moments when I look to heaven and expect Jesus' return.

No, I don't feel better now. My heart is heavy and I pray for God to work a miracle in the life of the woman who so deeply touched my soul today. She needs hope, the kind of hope that only God can give.

In fairy tales there are no abortions, only happy endings. In life, happy endings are rare unless you know the One who wrote your life story. You are His princess. No matter your past, no matter your present. He loves you more than death itself. When you know Christ, your story ends on earth and begins in eternity with Him. So you see, by nature of the word "eternity", we don't have to worry about a happy ending. Life doesn't end, it only begins.