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T - i - double G - grrrr

October 13, 2016

Why I can't watch TV right now

This is not a political endorsement. Just sharing facts from a reliable source. It is however filled with my personal beliefs and experience.

From SBA List:
"Just yesterday (10/11/16), the Orange County District Attorney announced a lawsuit against two companies that have been harvesting the hearts, eyes and feet of unborn babies from a Planned Parenthood abortion facility – and then selling them for profit."

"Planned Parenthood has announced they’re spending $30 MILLION to help elect Hillary Clinton. Clinton has promised if she gets into the White House, she'll increase funding to Planned Parenthood, wipe out all pro-life laws, and force Americans to pay for abortions by repealing the Hyde Amendment."

Hillary Clinton stated one of her highest priorities for selecting a Supreme Court Judge is that they will protect and uphold a woman's right to choose. "I want a Supreme Court that will stick with Roe v. Wade and a woman's right to choose," she said.

The main issue with protecting and upholding a woman's right to choose is that another life must end. I have watched as our country has become more violent and more disrespectful of human life. ALL LIVES! Black, white, young, old, disabled, blue lives, female, poor, religious, legal, illegal, whatever. And I wonder, in my heart, how much this disrespect for life directly ties to allowing it to be "okay" to kill babies in the womb. If we, as a country, can't see the value of these lives, how can we see value in any life?

Personal disclosure:
When I was still a teenager, I had an "unplanned" pregnancy. I exercised my right to choose and had an abortion. I believed with all my heart I was doing what was best, for everyone. I walked into the abortion clinic knowing it would be hard but was convinced it was the right thing to do given my circumstances. I was awake during the procedure. It was harder than my worst nightmares imagined it would be. But, I was held there by the promise that when it was over, I would not be pregnant anymore. Sounds nicer that way. However, the moment it was finished, in that moment, I was never the same again. No matter how nice it sounded, "your right", "bad timing", "no big deal", etc.; the reality is that in that moment, while still a teenager, I became the mother of a dead child. My baby's life ended. Nothing about that experience "empowered" me to be a better person, or a better woman. My experience is not unique. Abortion - this "rare" and "safe" RIGHT, occurs over ONE MILLION times a year in America. Some women don't emotionally survive and, while rare, some women die from complications. There are studies that reveal many women end their own lives. In fact, women who have had an abortion are at a higher risk for suicide than women who give birth.
http://www.lifenews.com/2014/12/19/suicide-rate-for-women-having-abortions-is-six-times-higher-than-women-giving-birth/

While I never considered ending my own life, I always mourned the life of the child I lost. It is an undefined grief that is stuffed down so one can pretend everything is okay. It is always there, affecting how you interact with others, how you feel about yourself, and even how love your other children. Some people worry about a future "zombie apocalypse", but I know we are living in one now. Please don't misunderstand, I'm not blaming everything that is wrong in the US on abortion. I'm just wondering, how much abortion has impacted everything that is going on. We may never know, this side of heaven, the reality of protecting a "woman's right to choose" over the life of an innocent baby in the womb, just waiting to be born.

So, what does this have to do with watching TV. One word - COMMERCIALS! One in particular makes me so mad that I just want to throw things at the TV. Hillary smiling with sweet beautiful children and how she wants an America where they can grow up to be successful, protected and valued. The only problem is, they have to be BORN first!

The other commercial is one for an "R" rated movie coming out. I can't even watch the preview without being upset. It shows a woman being pulled on the ground by her hair, by a man who is obviously going to do horrible things to her. All I can think is, if you are disgusted by "lewd" comments Donald Trump said that disrespected women, then you better not pay ONE DIME to be entertained by this kind of trash that demeans women and encourages every psychopath that will see it to mimic what they saw. You better not buy ONE song that uses those same "lewd" words and you better not laugh at ONE off-color joke that demeans women or blonds. This is the America we are building. We accept it in our entertainment but then say "FOUL" when someone behaves like this in real life.

We can debate the candidates all we want but I agree with my pastor who said, "This great country, filled with so many great people, and these two are the best we have to pick from?"

Personally, I am saddened by this presidential election. The process, the people, the issues, the attempts to distract the voting public. And, I walk away, more convinced than ever that this country is NOT run by the government OR the people. It is run by the media and by industries that make money off the public. Period.

That said, go and vote. I will. I am not voting for the "lessor of two evils". I am not voting for the next Supreme Court nominees. I am not even voting for a candidate. I am voting for the only thing I can believe, in everything I've seen and heard. I am voting against the person who clearly stated that American children in the womb have no rights, that won't even consider they should have any rights, and will in fact support making me pay for their deaths. I am voting AGAINST that.

You see, if we can't get this one thing right, I have little hope we will get anything else right.

Imago Dei
"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27
When we destroy and demean humans, we destroy and demean the very image of God.

"Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant." Galatians 6:7

I have to wonder, if Trump and Clinton are our harvest, we have only ourselves to blame; for it is what we have planted.

January 2, 2016

What 2015 Taught Me About Love

Each year I try to have a “theme word”. Not one I accidentally stumble on, but one I pray about before the next year starts. 2015, that word was LOVE. Each day I made a conscience effort to learn something new about love. Or at the end of the day I reflected on what God showed me in regards to love.

I must confess, I thought 2015 would be easy compared to theme words of previous years. It wasn’t.

By January 5th I wrote in my journal, “Hmmm, love might be harder than I thought for a theme word.”  I didn’t feel God was showing me anything new. Yet, I did find myself trying to make a more intentional effort to love those around me.

Week 2 and I wrote, “Love. Such a hard theme word.” I’m beginning to see a pattern here.

Week 3: I wrote, “Love. Still being challenged with this theme word.”  I expected things to be obvious. I expected to have so much to write about. Yet, that wasn’t what I experienced.

By the end of January I am writing, “Grrrr, why did I pick this stupid word?”

In the middle of February I wrote, “This “love” theme word really isn’t working for me. I’m going to change it.” Silly me. If God really lead me to pick this word did I think He would let me throw it out that easily?

By the middle of March I wrote, “I feel so lost this year with a theme word. The new one isn’t working either.” Hmmmm

By the end of March I no longer focused on a “theme word”.

You see, LOVE is NOT a word. God has taught me that it is so much more than that. In fact, love is hard to capture in words. But I will try.

Here are some of the things I learned in 2015:
1.       Love when it isn’t deserved.
2.       Love when you don’t want to.
3.       When you do something out of your “comfort zone” for a friend (or stranger), that is love.
4.       Love is constant. It isn’t on again, off again.
5.       Love is NOT a feeling.
6.       Love, the kind of love God wants us to have, is an action. And therefore, love requires action.
7.       Love is NOT separated by time, space or death.
8.       Love surprises!
9.       Love is when your name is safe in someone else’s mouth.
10.   I don’t have to like someone to love them.
11.   Love forgives without forgetting.
12.   Love is NOT rigid.
13.   Love requires, no it demands, patience.
14.   Love is NOT trust and trust is NOT love.
15.   Love and sacrifice are two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other.
16.   Love is LONG suffering.
17.   Love grieves.
18.   Love is sitting Shiva with someone in need.
19.   Love does NOT discard the unlovable.
20.   Love obeys.
21.   The saying “Love Knows No Boundaries” is inaccurate. Love does “know” boundaries. Boundaries that protect and cherish.
22.   Love is chosen, it is not something that accidentally falls on us.
23.   Love grows.
24.   Love is at times, silent. That doesn’t mean it isn’t there.
25.   Love restrains.
26.   Love restores, revives and strengthens.
27.   Love builds up, it NEVER tears down.
28.   Love is not easy, in fact, it can be downright difficult.
29.   Love recognizes when others are hurting.
30.   Love is truth and honesty sprinkled with a little sugar.
31.   Love has no room for ego.
32.   Love accepts the generosity of others.
33.   Love is faithfulness without limits. Wow! That thought is almost unfathomable for me. Love is faithfulness without limits.
34.   Love ebbs and flows.
35.   Love ignored – dies.
36.   Love is a solid foundation in turbulent times.
37.   Love is eternal and supernatural. It continues regardless of circumstances or feelings. It just is.
38.   Love protects.
39.   Love repays with gratitude.
40.   “Jesus didn’t say ‘I love you’ with three little words but with three big nails.”
41.   God IS love!

God provided so many love lessons in 2015, I can’t even begin to capture them all. But I must share this one story:

I work in a crisis pregnancy center. God directed a young woman to the center who needed help. She is pregnant, seeking to make an adoption plan, homeless, familyless, friendless, hopeless. She is not very nice, to anyone, even me. The help she needs, she refuses. Instead she opts to just see what she can “take” or get. Each time I met with her I would pray and ask God what he expected from me. “Just love her” is the answer God impressed in my heart. BUT, she didn’t make that easy. Sometimes to love her meant to let her make mistakes. Sometimes it meant to tell her things she didn’t want to hear. Sometimes it meant to sit with her as she cried. Sometimes it meant overlooking her crassness. And so on.

It is only now as I reflect on my “theme word” for 2015 that it occurred to me that God allowed this woman into my life to show me what love is. To allow me the opportunity to practice it. To remind me that often, I am just like this young woman to Him.

Yet, He never leaves me. He never tires of me. He never gives up on me. He guides me, protects me, teaches me, disciplines me, takes joy in me. In other words, He LOVES me!


WOW!